Well, folks, at last it has happened! Yes, really and truly! In fact, I’ve had a hunch for a long time that it was coming, and all of a sudden, as a crash of thunder comes out of a clear sky, I met him! Oleo Margarine Greene, the chum of my dreams! I will now relate to you how it came about:

I watched the jostling, buzzing crowds of people, both mild and chocolate colored, as they impatiently stamped their feet and jabbered in an excited manner-as if they were waiting to catch a glimpse of our president. I knew that only something very unusual indeed could draw a crowd like that! Mustering my courage, I walked up to a giant of a man, and timidly asked him what all the excitement was about! He finally told me, between a half-dozen spats of baccy juice, that the “Bunk Circus” was coming to town.

At this my heart missed a beat! A circus coming to town! Maybe I could land a job! I was always lucky in landing one, but not quite so lucky in holding it down! I pushed my way through the crowd and saw the great circus on wheels arrive. I hurried over to the manager and asked if he would give me a job. I finally convinced him that I was a swell worker and got a job-minding Nero, the largest and most desperate billygoat in all the world!

I was going about my task in a businesslike manner when someone asked, “Say you clodhopper! Who are you and from whence do you hail?”

Turning around, I saw a boy of about my own age, who wore a red pair of pants with green stripes. He looked to me as if he were a bully, so I answered crossly, “My name is Lethe Nildem, and I hail from the Bow-Wow Ranch, the biggest of its kind in the world. I have broken the wildest horses, and I’ve tamed the meanest cows! In fact, I’m not afraid of anything!”

I had hardly finished this statement when Nero, with a loud, ferocious baa, came charging toward me and I was forced to vacate my standing position. “Say, you greenhorn,” the newcomer chirped. “My name is Oleo Maragarine Greene, and I hail from the great Bunk circuis. I am a man of the world, I am, and I am not afraid of Nero even! What do you bet I won’t fight him, Lethe?”

“Go ahead, right now! If you win, I give you a dollar; you lose, an’ you give me a dollar! How about it?”

“Nuff said!”

Oleo walked over to the old goat, untied the log chain that held him, and told me to give the starting signal. I took off my hat, jumped six feet, and gave a hair-raising Indian war call. The fight was on!

With a baa much louder than before, Nero charged toward Oleo! But Oleo seemed to detect his intentions, and whirling to the right, he escaped the two big horns (which resembled the devil’s pitchfork very much) by a fraction of an inch!

The battle raged! At last Nero had met his match.

“Oleo,” I yelled, “Nero uses his head to butt with. Why don’t you?”

The goat was charging again, and Oleo lowered his head and raced toward him. The two heads came in contact. I heard a crash; then all was still! Oleo and the goat knocked each other unscious!

It seemed ages before I finally revived Oleo, but when his senses did clear, he said sheepishly, “Well Lehte, I’m not out my dollar, an’ you aren’t out yours! I’m not the victor, neither is Nero! We both came out the big end of the horn!”

After this episode, Oleo and I became the best of chums. He told me that he would like me to get him a job on the Bow-Wow Ranch so that we could be together. This I did. Thus is came about that I, Lehte Nildem, pet of Bow-Wow Ranch, met Oleo Margarine Greene, man of the world!

And let me say again that Oleo is some butter!